Monday 7 April 2014

Rule 65

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The realisation that I should pay more attention to my long-creaking steed was brought home by a trip to the post office.  Courtesy of Kev and Dee and by way of the Royal Mail was a hardback edition of The Rules (as decreed by Velominati).  I was vaguely familiar with some of The Rules, the most oft quoted seeming to be Rule number 5 (something about munching on cement).  But I had no idea there were so many of them.  Kev's instruction was simply, "Please pay more attention to rule #65 going forward.  That is all."  

Rule #65.  Maintain and Respect Your Machine.

I concede that the special edition Wombat was in sub-optimal condition for 3peaks (although it did sport new improved front shifting).  Even I was embarrassed by its symphony of creaks and groans to the point of actually investing a bit of time into the old girl since, especially given that she's carried me for 40K plus Kms and I'm starting to contemplate a replacement.  Maybe with an overhaul I can squeeze another season on her before splashing around my earnings.

A bit more attention wouldn’t go astray.  With the Mont24 cancelled due to torrential weather, and with Rule 65 firmly on the brain I spent Saturday afternoon stripping down and regreasing every bit of the headset (zero grease in the bottom race), re-cabling and restoring full motion to the rear brake callipers (most of the spring-actuated travel having seized), truing the rear wheel, putting a rag over the rest, and basically getting it running smooth as whence it was new.  Also gave the Mudge's commuter a new headset, and then converted the Mtb hardtail from swashbuckling singlespeed mode (9.3 kg) back to the geared version (10 kg even) I'm planning to run at the Convict in a month.  

So Kev, if you're reading this, thanks for the gentle nudge from afar - message received loud and clear :)

Whilst on the subject of The Rules, although I’ve barely scratched the surface of what is a 270 page tome, some of the others which caught my eye include;

#24.  Speeds and distances shall be referred to and measured in kilometres.

#25. The bikes on your car should be worth more than your car. (OK, not exactly a challenge in my case)

#42.  A bike race shall never be preceded by a swim and/or followed by a run.

#59.  Hold your (insert expletive) line. (and its cousin…)

#82. Close the (insert expletive) gap.

#30.  No frame-mounted pumps.  (must say I take issue with this one).

#8.  Saddle, bar tape and tyres shall be carefully matched (easy enough, everything being black) in order to be photogenic (=Rule 26, although this requires fastidious upkeep – not my strong suit – nor abiding by the myriad other Rules concerning aesthetics).

…and a finishing thought…

#74.  Small computers only.  (and it goes on) 
“The Prophet (aka Eddie) didn’t ride with a computer, mainly because they weren’t invented, granted, but all he needed to know was how much pain he could endure as he crushed the opposition (seems appropriate seeing as the Classics are upon us).  There’s only one number you need to know, and a computer or power meter or heart rate monitor isn’t going to tell you.  The only number that matters is the number that tells you if you can go just a little bit harder.  And, unless you’re passing out, the answer is, predictably, yes”.  (which basically distills and concentrates back to Rule number 5)


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